9. In an age of skepticization, curmudgeonry, and other made-up words, Joel L. Watts uses language that the average reader will find in most dictionaries.
8. An instant classic! is a an oxymoron that no one should use. Scholars and pastors alike should avoid such phrases. Instead, read this book!
7. Clearly conceived and intentionally typed, Watts wrote this book. Like all great classics of English literature, Mimetic Criticism and the Gospel of Mark reads from left to right.
6. Me like book. Book good. FIRE BAD!!! But book good.
5. Joel L. Watts’ book gave my historiography a needed colonoscopy.
4. Henceforth all students of the Gospel of Mark, if they hope to read every book ever written about Mark, and if they wish to say with honesty that they have read every book about Mark, will have to read this book.
3. Mimetic Criticism and the Gospel of Mark will change the rotation of planets, save drowning babies, burn bras, and return the hearts of the children to their fathers. Joel L. Watts has quickly established himself as the Neil Diamond of New Testament studies.
2. This book is sure to be numbered among the top ten-thousand books that Wipf and Stock will publish in 2013.
…and the number one blurb that I didn’t write for Joel Watts:
1. Mimetic Criticism and the Gospel of Mark is destined to become a standard text.
All joking aside, Mimetic Criticism and the Gospel of Mark is surprisingly original and I enjoyed it a great deal. I hope that my real blurb will help to give the book the reception it deserves. Congrats Joel.