Here at the Jesus Blog, we’re all about holiday merchandise. Along with Sarah Palin [see min. 4:57-5:07], we believe that commercialization spreads the true reason for the season. So here are a few gift ideas we’re working on for you this year:
Covenantal Nomism Slanket. Kill the chill of first-century caricatures this Winter with a Covenantal Nomism Slanket! Your friends and family will know that you have a new perspective on Paul when they see you ensconced in a collage of cover art from the books of E.P. Sanders and James Dunn. A perfect holiday gift! [Some ongoing maintenance required.]
Apocalyptic Prophet Tea Sets. Nothing says “the end of the world is upon you” like a nice cuppa served in this porcelain cup and saucer set. Perfect for any occasion, but especially appropriate for bunker parties!
Gospel of Jesus’ Wife Coffee Table Coasters. Protect your furniture and wow your friends with the hottest new designs in Copticware. This two-sided replica of the famous “Gospel of Jesus’ Wife” comes in three colors: Egyptian copper; Nag Hammadi brown; or anonymous-collector beige. [Ink-test replica shot glasses sold separately.]
Chris Keith’s Goatee. Need a unique gift for that special someone? Rekindle the flame with an authentic, game-used goatee from Chris Keith Inc. Supply limited.
“Historical Jesus Quest” for Nintendo 3DS. Quest with Albert Schweitzer and Martin Kähler in this explosive new game from Nintendo. Battle Nazi theologians to overcome “divine man” parallels and Renan’s phrenology. [Rated MATURE for ethnocentrism and historical positivism.]
St. Francis of Assisi Money Clip. You will always have the poor among you, but few people have this platinum-plated, sterling silver money clip with an engraving of the prayer of St. Francis. Be the first person in your pew to flash this beauty when the offering plate is passed!
Any other ideas that we should consider for production?