Baker Academic

Friday, September 21, 2012

The Top Five Reasons I’m Bummed that Jesus Might not have been Married:

5) It's always fun to have an excuse to bring up Morton Smith's gay magician document. Boy, folks just don't forge and scandalize like they used to!

4) There was less of a chance that Mary nagged him about meeting a nice girl… encouraging him to show off at parties and whatnot.

3) I had planned to get at least 20 more minutes of lecture time out of this in my Portraits of Jesus class.

2) Because of the fragmentary nature of the papyrus, my I could look smart reading Coptic without having to remember any grammar.

…and the number one reason I’m bummed that Jesus might not have been married:

1) I was really getting tired of depictions of Jesus wearing a dress; I had quietly wished that this would help him into a handsome pair of trousers.



  1. You know, I was the Morton Smith Fellow at Columbia.

  2. I did not know that! One day I hope to be the Jared Calaway Professor of Divinity at Illinois Wesleyan. Can you hook me up?

  3. I don't know about that, but I remember when I was awarded the Fellowship, Alan Segal told me that meant I got to forge my own new Gospel. :)

  4. Jared, that story is hilarious. It's going to find its way into some of my lectures.