Five ways in which Christ should not be emulated by the likes of you

1. When someone asks you about a sabbatical law, don’t change the subject and compare yourself to King David (can come off wrong).

2. Don’t mind read to judge people’s motives so that you can start an argument…. that means you, anonymous internet theologian.

3. Don’t encourage your friends to leave their wives and children to come with you and hang out with hookers.  You wouldn’t think that there would be any repercussions with this one, but believe me: your friends' wives won’t like it.

4. When your friend dies, don’t go around saying that he’s just asleep. You may think you’re being witty, but you’re not.  First of all, it confuses people.  Second, it’s a bit unmannerly.  Even if his name is “Lazarus” so you think he’s only mostly dead, it’s really not the time to be clever.

5. Don’t attempt to die on a cross for the sins of the world.  Kind of a one-time deal.